Courage For Today

thinking

I Will Praise You Forever

Strength

Yes, that is a real picture of my Mom.  I’m not sure of the exact date, but I’m guessing it was taken sometime in the 1960’s or early 1970’s.  It’s been 11 years now since Mom went on to be with the Lord, but there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t miss her.  With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I find myself thinking more and more about her and the legacy she left for me and my brothers; really, for any one that knew her.

Mom was born with scoliosis, or curvature of the spine.  It caused her to have several back surgeries that affected her posture and other parts of her body.  Over time, the multiple surgeries caused other complications and hampered her life tremendously.  Eventually, she suffered a stroke which eventually led to her death.  But, this is not an article about the medical issues she fought her entire life.  Instead, this is an article about someone who praised God, despite having every reason not to.

Throughout my entire life, I can remember my mom always being positive.  Her faith was what I would call calm but bold.  You wouldn’t find her on the street corners preaching or in someone’s face acting holier than thou.  No, instead, you found her giving to others when she had nothing to give.  You found her remembering your birthday when you thought no one cared.  You found her calling someone just to see how they were doing and to let them know she was thinking of them.  You never heard her say a negative word about anyone.  She never thought she was better than anyone else.  Mom knew where her strength came from.  She never questioned God or asked “why me,” although that would have been easy to do.  Instead she praised.  She praised and thanked God for everything, even though it appeared that she had nothing to praise.

What a tremendous outlook and wonderful passion for life that forever affected so many in a positive way.  You may be going through trials in your own life and don’t know where to turn.  You may be at the end of your rope and don’t know if you can keep going.  If this is you, I urge you to keep praising God.

Even if you don’t have a song in your heart, keep praising God.  Even if life just hurts so bad right now, praise God anyway.  Even if life makes absolutely no sense at all right now, praise God even more.  Even if you don’t know what steps to take next, praise God to the highest.

Mom, you know I can’t sing a note or carry a tune, but thank you for reminding me to Praise God when the music seems to have stopped.  Happy early Mother’s Day Mom, I love you and miss you.

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Tips on Living a Stress Free Life

Strength

We live in a world full of stress and we can’t avoid it.  We may face stress from financial pressures; health concerns; career choices; family concerns; church and religion; or even our own self-confidence and the list goes on and on.  I don’t have to tell you that no one is immune from stress; it is in every facet of our lives.  Since we can’t avoid stress, the question becomes how do we best cope with stress in our everyday lives?  I began thinking about stress and what it would be like to have zero stress.  What would a stress-free life look like?  Several words and terms came to mind, but the one word that kept coming back to me again and again was the word—peace.  Living a stress free life is living a life of peace.  I have thought about peace in my own life and wanted to share lessons that I have learned over the years, using the letters in the word p-e-a-c-e.  These lessons from the school of hard knocks have helped me to live a life of peace.

  • Pray to the Lord often. Prayer is an often used answer for many things, for good reason.  I spend a lot of time in prayer, not formal “holier than thou” prayers but just simple, private conversations with God about whatever may be on my heart.  There’s something about prayer and the relationship with God that follows which keeps you humble and reminds you of who is really in control.  Regular prayer is the gateway to peace.
  • Embrace who you are.  I used to spend a lot of time wishing I was more than what I am.  I viewed others and what they had and became envious.  I saw others who had better skills or experience or who had better social skills or were better students.  I saw others who were better athletes or more outgoing.  My point is I spent so much time being envious of others that I failed to realize my own gifts and strengths.  Each of us is wonderfully made by our Heavenly Father and you have unique gifts and talents you may not even know about. Certainly take steps to improve yourself in whatever areas that may need improving, but not so you can be like someone else.  Make positive changes for yourself.  Embrace your God-given talents and stop comparing yourself to others.
  • Accept what you cannot change.  There have been so many things in life that I wanted to change.  What would I have given for a ‘do-over” in certain circumstances?  I think we have all felt that way in one time or another.  The trouble begins when we constantly beat ourselves up over decisions we’ve made or things we have done that we can no longer change.  What has happened, has happened.  Accept the fact that the past is behind you, stop feeling sorry for yourself, make the necessary changes in your life and move on.  Don’t let the past drag down your future.
  • Care for others.  It’s so easy to spend all of our waking moments thinking of nothing but ourselves.  I know; I’ve done it.  I would get so preoccupied with my own problems and my own issues that I failed to notice others that were hurting around me.  When I began to change my focus from thinking about me all the time to showing concern for others, my world changed.  Concern may be something as simple as a kind word or a letter of encouragement or it may involve just ‘being there’ for someone at a time of need.  I began to realize that my situations were not so bad after all and that I really should be thankful for what I did have instead of worrying about what I didn’t have.
  • Extinguish the hate from the past.  One of the hardest things we do in life is when we try to forgive someone for how they may have hurt us.  Forgiving someone is something that never comes easy.  I used to think that when I forgave someone it meant that I accepted what they did to me.  I learned that forgiving does not mean acceptance.  Forgiving means that I refuse to allow what this person did to control my life any longer.  Lack of forgiveness is like a raging fire in your life that burns out of control.  Letting go of the hate extinguishes the fire that engulfs your life and enables you to move on.

There are many experts on the subject of stress and I don’t pretend to be one.  What I can promise you from my own personal experience is that if you follow the principles above, you will begin to learn how to manage the stress in your life and have the true peace you’ve been searching for.

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Don’t Believe the Lies in the Mirror

Self-Worth

As a young child, I loved attending the county fair.  It only came around to our area once per year so it was always exciting when it was that time of year again.  My family didn’t have a lot of extra money so it was a real treat when we were able to go.

Of course, I enjoyed the rides and attractions but I can still remember the first time I was old enough to enter the infamous “fun house.”  The fun house was full of mazes and air spurts that spooked you as you rounded corners.  What really caught my eye were the large Circus mirrors that waited for me down the hall.  There was one mirror that made me look six feet tall; another that made me look like a toddler.  There was yet another set of mirrors, one that made me look extremely overweight and another that made me look skinny.  As a small child, I just thought these distorted mirrors were a hoot.  I would stare and stare at the mirrors and imagine what it would be like if I really looked like the “me” in those mirrors, while all the time knowing the “real” me was not like those images at all.

I often encounter people in life who struggle with their own identity.  In reality, we all probably have at one time or another.  As we move through this journey we call life, we sometimes begin to take on the images of what we’ve been taught; what we’ve been told; what we’ve observed; and what we have believed.  Unless we have God’s firm foundation to base our reality on, it becomes very easy to distort our own self-image and—over time—-start to believe the lies that life throws our way.

There are many lies that life can throw our way, but let me share with you a few of what I think are among the most common.  Maybe some of these sound familiar to you:

  • If I feel it, it must be true.
  • The destination is more important than the journey.
  • I have to be perfect to feel good about myself.
  • I must have everyone’s love and approval.
  • My unhappiness is someone else’s fault.
  • My past predicts or restricts my future.
  • I am the way I am and cannot change.
  • Things never work out for me.
  • I can’t be happy unless things go my way.
  • Things happen and I take them personally.
  • People owe me for what I do for them.
  • You shouldn’t have to wait for what you want.
  • God’s love must be earned.
  • Life and God are always supposed to be fair.
  • I don’t need other people to function in life.
  • I have been hurt, so I can never trust anyone.
  • People “like that” will always disappoint me.
  • God doesn’t have time for my problems.
  • A good Christian doesn’t get angry, anxious, or depressed.
  • I either magnify or minimize the importance of things.

Any of those sound familiar?  If so, you should remind yourself that they’re not true.  The bigger question is how do I erase those lies that have held me hostage all these years?  How do I take steps to see the real me instead of the distorted me?  In my experience, I have found that the following steps can help you over time:

  1. For each of the lies you believe about yourself, think back on the triggering event that caused you to feel that way.  It may take some time and may be painful, but write down what event(s) in your life you believe caused you to believe the lie in your life.
  2. Write down what is wrong about the way you are thinking about these events.  What exactly has been your wrong thinking pattern over the years about this event?
  3. Next, write down how you felt emotionally about the event and what you have been thinking and believing.  Are you angry, hurt, sad, embarrassed, showing lack of faith?  This will be painful and cause you to re-live some of the hurt, but be honest with yourself and write out your true feelings.
  4. Then, write down your unhealthy actions resulting from how you felt.  Did the pain and hurt or the sadness or embarrassment cause you to do something you wish you had not done?  Write it down.

As you proceed through the next steps, you will begin to view a different perspective which will offer some healing over time:

  1. Write down the correct way you should have thought about the triggering event you identified above.  If you had been thinking the correct way about the event, what would that have looked like?
  2. If you had reacted correctly to the triggering event, what would have been the correct emotions that you would have felt? Instead of feeling angry, sad, or hurt, how would you have felt?
  3. Finally, write down the positive actions that would have resulted had you reacted correctly and had you felt the proper emotions.

As you work through the exercises above, remember the lies we all believe are just like the Circus Mirrors in the fun house–they aren’t real and they aren’t representative of the real you.  It’s our choice to replace the lies with the truth.

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They Were UnEducated and UnTrained

Self-Worth

I’ve been fortunate in life to cross paths with many, many different types of people and personalities.  I’ve met Presidents and CEO’s of Major Corporations.  I’ve met famous politicians. I’ve even met popular sports figures.  All in all, I guess you could say that I’ve been able to meet a lot of individuals that are held in fairly high esteem by the World’s standards.

The World would look at these people and come to the conclusion that they were at the top of their respective fields.  Afterall, the Presidents and CEO’s certainly must have advanced degrees and education.  The politicians certainly must have education plus all the “people” skills necessary to influence others.  And, of course, the sports personalities surely must devote their energy to hours upon hours of dedication and practice.  I think all of these things are probably true for the most part, but somehow that just doesn’t impress me.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older in life, I don’t really know.  But, I can tell you that credentials from people just really don’t mean much to me any more.  I’m not saying this is always true, but it just seems like most of who I used to call “Big Whigs” seem to be so insincere and pretentious.  It’s almost like they flaunt their power and degrees and success and are saying to me:  “I’m important and you’re not.”

I compare these individuals to others I have known over my years; those that the World would not hold in high esteem.  Individuals that are not even on the radar and would be unnoticed.  I’m thinking of my first real friend in elementary school who stood by me when others wouldn’t. I’m thinking of a youth counselor that led me to Christ when others rejected me.  I’m thinking of my first Boss who gave me a chance and saw something in me that others didn’t.  I’m thinking of my wife who has stood with me year after year, despite my many faults.  And, I’m thinking of my parents who always taught me to do the right things, even when it wasn’t popular.

What’s different about those individuals?  They weren’t really educated or trained by today’s standards.  They didn’t really hold high positions.  What set them all apart was that they had all accepted Christ as their savior.  There wasn’t anything hypocritical or arrogant about them.  They didn’t think they were better than anyone else.  They were just real and they cared about others.  The moment you met them, you knew immediately that they had been with Jesus.  It showed in everything they did.

At one time in my life, I wanted the fame and importance that the world offers.  Not any more, because it really has no lasting affect on anything or anybody.  Instead, I’ve learned that I want to help others as I can and for others to look at me and know immediately that “he’s been with Jesus.”

If you’re you’re feeling lost and insignificant, I would encourage you to be thankful and not regretful.  There is nothing about you and your God-given gifts that is insignificant in God’s eyes.

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Prepare a Place For Us

Grace

For years in my early adult life, I was never brave enough to tackle home projects.  It didn’t really matter whether it was changing a light socket or doing light plumbing work, I was going to let the professionals do it.  Looking back, I guess I was intimidated by the work that needed to be done and decided it was just easier to hire someone than run the risk of doing it wrong and being humiliated.

For some reason, as I’ve gotten older, I have begun taking on more home projects—–and actually enjoyed them.  I’ve now attempted most everything from installing garbage disposals, to re-wiring kitchens, to building cabinets.  You name it, I’ve probably tried it.  Mind you, some projects didn’t come without a lot of gnashing of teeth and frustration, but if the first step I tried didn’t work, I tried something different until I was able to get done what I had set out to do.

The only problem with me starting so many projects is that I tend to go so far, then get bored, and never complete the project.  For example, I’ve been working on remodeling our basement for some time now and it is basically livable now.  All that’s left is some crown molding installation and some minor things like that, but for some reason I just can’t seem to get motivated to finish it.  Maybe one day I will.

I was thinking the other day how wonderful this part of our house would look if I would only complete the little bit of work that is left.  It would really look complete and professional.  I also think about the tool shed in our backyard that I have promised myself for two years that I would tear down and rebuild.  I then start thinking about our backyard and the little spot where my wife wants a small pond built.  Oh, how beautiful all of this would be and how much nicer our home would look, if only I would go ahead and finish everything.

I was reading some scripture the other day and was reminded of the verses where Jesus said that he was in Heaven preparing a place for us.  Quite honestly, I’ve never thought too much about that particular passage of scripture.  I know I’m going to heaven one day, but the idea of a place that Jesus is preparing for me never really hit me until just recently.

I realized that Jesus has been preparing this place for us for over 2,000 years now.  As I mentioned before, how much more beautiful would my own home look if I would just complete the projects that I’ve started within the past couple of years.  Are you starting to get the picture?  Can you even imagine how wonderful a place Heaven must be if Jesus has been preparing this place for us, not for 2 years, but for 2,000 years?

If you are like me, it suddenly becomes pretty exciting.

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