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Overcoming Challenges in Your Life

Faith

There are thousands and thousands of books and resources about success and failure and how “to get ahead” in life.  There is certainly no magic formula to succeeding and your path to success will be different than mine. Certainly, we all have different talents and abilities–and we need to develop those gifts and talents—but no amount of talent or ability will make you a success if that’s all you focus on.  Over the years, it’s occurred to me that there are six common obstacles to success.  So, I thought I would take a different approach and list some things I’ve learned that, if practiced, will do nothing to help you succeed.  Avoid these pitfalls and you’ll see your chances of success improve greatly.

  1. Having an Unteachable Spirit:  As someone who has hired, trained, and fired employees for years, there is nothing that dooms someone more quickly then being unteachable.  By unteachable, I mean the unwillingness to learn.  It always amazes me of the number of people that believe they have “arrived” and have nothing to learn. When approaching a new job or new venture, you should always take the humble approach that you don’t know everything and you can always learn from those around you.
  2. Having Unforgiven Offenses:  Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things we suffer with as Christians, as people.  When someone offends us or does something to harm us, our natural tendency is to fight back and seek revenge.  We offer many articles in our blog about forgiveness and can help you in this area, but suffice it to say that our refusal to forgive others only hurts us in the long run and hardens our heart.  You can’t be a successful leader in life with a hardened heart.
  3. Having Un-Wise Associations:  It has been said by many famous speakers, such as Zig Ziegler and others, that you are a product of the people around you and the books you read.  I totally agree.  In fact, it’s often said that your behavior is a reflection of the 5 people you spend the most time with.  I couldn’t agree more.  If you can’t seem to break through your clutter or get to the next level, check your associations.  Who are you spending time with?  Do you need to change your network of friends and associates?
  4. Having a Negative Tongue: You’ve heard the old cliche that misery loves company.  Leaders and successful people take steps to make themselves stand out from others.  When others look at you, others should see someone different.  They should see someone that they want to be like.  What they shouldn’t see (or hear) is someone that constantly tears down others.  If you are constantly saying something negative about others, I would encourage you to check your own self-confidence and self-image. There are only two ways to make yourself stand above others:  you can work hard and do the right things to make yourself stand out, or you can knock others down.  Make sure you’re not doing the latter.
  5. Having Inconsistency in Your Actions:  Speaking as a Christian, there’s nothing that sickens me more then seeing what we call “Sunday Christians.”  We’ve all seen them–those that are in church and profess to be Christians on Sunday, but live otherwise during the week.  As Christians, we have to be consistent in our actions.  Our behaviors should be the same on Tuesday, as they are on Sunday.  As leaders, we can’t treat people one way on Monday and a different way on Friday.  Certainly, we are all human and make mistakes; however, when others look at you, they should see he same person on Monday as they see on Saturday.
  6. Having an Uncommitted Heart:  Committing to anything is often the fuel that sustains you during the tough times.  Our journey will always be filled with pitfalls and setbacks.  Without commitment, you’ll give up and turn back.  Without commitment, you’ll be influenced by anything or anyone in your path that seeks to prevent your success.  Remember, not everyone will want you to succeed.  Committing to your goal will enable you to move past the nay-sayers.

I can promise you, from my own experiences, if you improve your life in these six areas, you’ll go a long way toward being a Godly success.

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Foods at Your Table

Grace

Those that know me or hang around me for very long figure out very quickly that I am a picky eater.  I am not sure why I am that way, but it’s just the way I’ve always been.  Sometimes it is the textures of foods I don’t care for. Many times its the very taste of items that I don’t like.  There are many foods I will not eat because of the way they are processed or grown.  My pickiness covers all food groups from vegetables to meats to desserts.  I have to admit it drives my wife crazy because she is just the opposite and will eat almost anything.

Of course, I realize that what I eat is ultimately my choice. Whether I eat healthy food or eat junk food; whether I remain picky or broaden my food horizons, the foods at my table are there by my choice.  While others may present foods to me or even insist that I eat them, my table is characterized by the foods I like and choose to eat.

As you go through life, you’re going to have to make decisions on what to allow and what not to allow in your life. Many times, you will be surrounded by negative people and negative thoughts.  We live in a terribly negative and critical world and sometimes you are going to be on the receiving end of the criticism.  In thinking back on my own life, I have received my share of critique.  In many cases, I let the criticism just burn me to the core.  I knew that I shouldn’t, but I took my eyes off of God and, instead, focused on the criticism. I was miserable and I let the opinions of others control me.  Over time, I learned that I was in control of what I allowed into my thought patterns. In short, I became “picky” about what I allowed in my life—just like the food I allowed at my table—focusing on the good of God and not the negative of others.  In fact, I found the three “foods” that I can never allow at my “table:”

  • “You’re Never Going to Make it Through This:” How many times have we all heard this in our lives?  Too many to count, I would imagine.  I could tell you story after story of dead-ends in my life and how it didn’t appear I could make it any more.  In every case, when I was at my end, God took control and saw me through.  Don’t listen to those who tell you that you’re never going to make it.  Instead, realize you are exactly in God’s hands and HE will work HIS perfect plan through you.
  • “You’re Not Good Enough:” As a teenager and young adult, I always doubted myself and second guessed everything I did.  I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence and I was often jealous of the talents and abilities of others.  After a lot of heartache, God finally showed me that I am uniquely created in God’s image.  I stopped comparing myself to others and began focusing on my God-given talents and abilities.  Instead of listening to others tell you you’re not good enough, remind yourself that you are special in God’s eyes.  God gave you just enough for what you need to accomplish at this time in your life.  God will continue to mature you and grow you based on what you need at a particular time in life.
  • “Everyone is Against You:” If you haven’t discovered this already, eventually you’ll find that many people in life simply don’t want you to succeed.  I have found that jealousy is the primary reason.  After all, it’s much easier to make yourself look better by knocking others down.  Maybe its the promotion you didn’t receive because someone else worked against you.  Maybe its lack of support from friends or family and you are on an island by yourself.  Whatever the reason or whatever the cause, never forget that while some in the world may be against you, God never is and is always in your corner.

As you are setting your table in life, avoid these three “foods” and thank the Lord for providing you with everything you need for this day and for your circumstances.

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Worship is a Person Not a Place

Strength

“All the earth will worship You, and will sing praises to You; They will sing praises to Your name.” (Psalms 66:4)

When we think of the word “worship,” a lot of thoughts come to mind.  Worship implies celebration or reverence or praise and can come in a lot of different forms.  We can worship our jobs or careers.  We can worship money or finances.  We can worship sports or hobbies.  We can worship other people such as Movie stars, Sports stars, or Politicians. Worship can even take place in Church auditoriums as we listen to inspirational music.

Worship, at its core, is not about how we feel towards things or people or even how we feel during inspirational music.  Worship is recognizing that it is God who gives us our everything.  It is God who directs our every path.  It is God who meets our every need, even when we don’t know what’s best for ourselves.  It is God who comforts us at times of loss.  It is God who gives us meaning for our very existence.

Worship is an adoration and appreciation of our Heavenly Father for who He is and what He has done by giving His life for us.  Worship doesn’t require a place–it only requires a relationship with Him.

Courage Thoughts for Today:

  1. What are you worshiping today that is getting in the way of worshiping the true God?
  2. Does your worship require you to be in a “place” or are you worshiping from your heart?
  3. What will you do TODAY to change how you Worship?

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Don’t Believe the Lies in the Mirror

Self-Worth

As a young child, I loved attending the county fair.  It only came around to our area once per year so it was always exciting when it was that time of year again.  My family didn’t have a lot of extra money so it was a real treat when we were able to go.

Of course, I enjoyed the rides and attractions but I can still remember the first time I was old enough to enter the infamous “fun house.”  The fun house was full of mazes and air spurts that spooked you as you rounded corners.  What really caught my eye were the large Circus mirrors that waited for me down the hall.  There was one mirror that made me look six feet tall; another that made me look like a toddler.  There was yet another set of mirrors, one that made me look extremely overweight and another that made me look skinny.  As a small child, I just thought these distorted mirrors were a hoot.  I would stare and stare at the mirrors and imagine what it would be like if I really looked like the “me” in those mirrors, while all the time knowing the “real” me was not like those images at all.

I often encounter people in life who struggle with their own identity.  In reality, we all probably have at one time or another.  As we move through this journey we call life, we sometimes begin to take on the images of what we’ve been taught; what we’ve been told; what we’ve observed; and what we have believed.  Unless we have God’s firm foundation to base our reality on, it becomes very easy to distort our own self-image and—over time—-start to believe the lies that life throws our way.

There are many lies that life can throw our way, but let me share with you a few of what I think are among the most common.  Maybe some of these sound familiar to you:

  • If I feel it, it must be true.
  • The destination is more important than the journey.
  • I have to be perfect to feel good about myself.
  • I must have everyone’s love and approval.
  • My unhappiness is someone else’s fault.
  • My past predicts or restricts my future.
  • I am the way I am and cannot change.
  • Things never work out for me.
  • I can’t be happy unless things go my way.
  • Things happen and I take them personally.
  • People owe me for what I do for them.
  • You shouldn’t have to wait for what you want.
  • God’s love must be earned.
  • Life and God are always supposed to be fair.
  • I don’t need other people to function in life.
  • I have been hurt, so I can never trust anyone.
  • People “like that” will always disappoint me.
  • God doesn’t have time for my problems.
  • A good Christian doesn’t get angry, anxious, or depressed.
  • I either magnify or minimize the importance of things.

Any of those sound familiar?  If so, you should remind yourself that they’re not true.  The bigger question is how do I erase those lies that have held me hostage all these years?  How do I take steps to see the real me instead of the distorted me?  In my experience, I have found that the following steps can help you over time:

  1. For each of the lies you believe about yourself, think back on the triggering event that caused you to feel that way.  It may take some time and may be painful, but write down what event(s) in your life you believe caused you to believe the lie in your life.
  2. Write down what is wrong about the way you are thinking about these events.  What exactly has been your wrong thinking pattern over the years about this event?
  3. Next, write down how you felt emotionally about the event and what you have been thinking and believing.  Are you angry, hurt, sad, embarrassed, showing lack of faith?  This will be painful and cause you to re-live some of the hurt, but be honest with yourself and write out your true feelings.
  4. Then, write down your unhealthy actions resulting from how you felt.  Did the pain and hurt or the sadness or embarrassment cause you to do something you wish you had not done?  Write it down.

As you proceed through the next steps, you will begin to view a different perspective which will offer some healing over time:

  1. Write down the correct way you should have thought about the triggering event you identified above.  If you had been thinking the correct way about the event, what would that have looked like?
  2. If you had reacted correctly to the triggering event, what would have been the correct emotions that you would have felt? Instead of feeling angry, sad, or hurt, how would you have felt?
  3. Finally, write down the positive actions that would have resulted had you reacted correctly and had you felt the proper emotions.

As you work through the exercises above, remember the lies we all believe are just like the Circus Mirrors in the fun house–they aren’t real and they aren’t representative of the real you.  It’s our choice to replace the lies with the truth.

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Staying Strong and Pressing On Toward the Mark

Strength

We live in a very competitive society. Everyone competes in the job market. Everyone competes to obtain a good education. Everyone fights to make ends meet in these tough financial times.  I know from personal experience that life is tough.  No one goes through life wanting to fail. Unfortunately, we often don’t know what to do to make things better or help us get “over the hump.”

I wanted to share some thoughts that I’ve learned over the years that have helped me to keep going when I didn’t know what else to do or where to turn.  These three simple, but often overlooked steps, could make the difference for you as well:

Don’t set your goals too low:  you may be saying to yourself, I don’t have goals or don’t know what is best for my life, or for me, it’s not a matter of setting goals too low; I don’t even know where to begin. Trust me; I’ve been there.  My suggestion in setting goals is to ask yourself a simple question, “If I had unlimited funds and time was not an issue, what would I do with my life?”  If you had absolutely no restrictions, what would you be doing with your life?  When answering this question think big, not small. Why?  It’s been my experience that you must be excited about your goals.  Excitement will keep you going through the tough times and you certainly can’t get excited about small ambitions.

Don’t look back: one of the worst things I’ve seen people do (including myself) is to look back at past failures. We’ve all had failures and done things we’ve regretted, but looking back does absolutely no good. The mere fact that you may not have been successful in the past does not mean you can’t be successful in the future. Similarly, don’t listen to nay-sayers who may try to discourage you.  You control your success, not someone else.  Don’t let them rob you of your success.

Have unshakable discipline:  discipline means many things to many people.  My experience says that you have to be willing to sometimes do things in reaching your goals that other people are not willing to do. You may have to work longer hours.  You may have to save more money.  You may have to stop watching television as much.  There may be many things in your lifestyle that you will need to change in order to reach your goals, the key is to be consistent in your goals.  Taking positive steps toward your goal some of the time will not help you be successful. You must be consistent and take positive steps toward your goals all the time.

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They Were UnEducated and UnTrained

Self-Worth

I’ve been fortunate in life to cross paths with many, many different types of people and personalities.  I’ve met Presidents and CEO’s of Major Corporations.  I’ve met famous politicians. I’ve even met popular sports figures.  All in all, I guess you could say that I’ve been able to meet a lot of individuals that are held in fairly high esteem by the World’s standards.

The World would look at these people and come to the conclusion that they were at the top of their respective fields.  Afterall, the Presidents and CEO’s certainly must have advanced degrees and education.  The politicians certainly must have education plus all the “people” skills necessary to influence others.  And, of course, the sports personalities surely must devote their energy to hours upon hours of dedication and practice.  I think all of these things are probably true for the most part, but somehow that just doesn’t impress me.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older in life, I don’t really know.  But, I can tell you that credentials from people just really don’t mean much to me any more.  I’m not saying this is always true, but it just seems like most of who I used to call “Big Whigs” seem to be so insincere and pretentious.  It’s almost like they flaunt their power and degrees and success and are saying to me:  “I’m important and you’re not.”

I compare these individuals to others I have known over my years; those that the World would not hold in high esteem.  Individuals that are not even on the radar and would be unnoticed.  I’m thinking of my first real friend in elementary school who stood by me when others wouldn’t. I’m thinking of a youth counselor that led me to Christ when others rejected me.  I’m thinking of my first Boss who gave me a chance and saw something in me that others didn’t.  I’m thinking of my wife who has stood with me year after year, despite my many faults.  And, I’m thinking of my parents who always taught me to do the right things, even when it wasn’t popular.

What’s different about those individuals?  They weren’t really educated or trained by today’s standards.  They didn’t really hold high positions.  What set them all apart was that they had all accepted Christ as their savior.  There wasn’t anything hypocritical or arrogant about them.  They didn’t think they were better than anyone else.  They were just real and they cared about others.  The moment you met them, you knew immediately that they had been with Jesus.  It showed in everything they did.

At one time in my life, I wanted the fame and importance that the world offers.  Not any more, because it really has no lasting affect on anything or anybody.  Instead, I’ve learned that I want to help others as I can and for others to look at me and know immediately that “he’s been with Jesus.”

If you’re you’re feeling lost and insignificant, I would encourage you to be thankful and not regretful.  There is nothing about you and your God-given gifts that is insignificant in God’s eyes.

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