Courage For Today

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Keep Your Life in Perspective

Strength

I don’t know about you, but sometimes when things don’t go your way, there is a tendency to look at the negative.  In fact, I’ve met some folks that just automatically gravitate to the worse possible outcome in any scenario.  Having a common cold suddenly means you have cancer. Being late on a bill now means bankruptcy is around the corner.  Not having a good job interview plants in your mind that you’ll never find a job.  If you find yourself in this frame of mind, I encourage you to begin working on changing your perspective.  Below are some suggestions and tips I’ve learned over the years that have helped me.  Start today giving them a try and see if your perspective doesn’t change over time:

  • Remember, you will be the average of the 5 people and 5 books you spend the most time with. Always surround yourself with what or who you wish to mirror.
  • Remember to always make sure you take care of yourself; your home-base. Don’t neglect yourself or “me time” to help you relax.  Sometimes that may be simply reading for 30 minutes.  It may be taking a long, hot bath.  Whatever it is for you, make sure you leave yourself some downtime.
  • A simple formula I use to help eliminate stress is what I call the 9-9-9 rule. Whenever I’m upset at something, I ask myself:  “will this matter in 9-days; 9-weeks; or 9 months?”  If the answer is no to all 3, it’s most likely not worth worrying about.
  • Make sure you connect with others, but avoid comparing yourself with others. It’s very easy in our performance based environment to compare yourself with others and a certain amount of comparison is unavoidable. However, if we do this too much, our self-esteem goes down.  Connecting and learning from others with like skills causes our self-esteem to go up.  Connect and learn with the tools God gave you; don’t compare with others and sell yourself short.  There is a huge difference between the two.  See yourself with the wonderful package you are and learn to capitalize on those strengths and don’t worry about someone else.
  • When you fail, as we all do, always maintain the following: (1) I can change it next time; (2) this is something to learn from; (3) it’s only temporary; and (4) only the process failed; not the person.  No matter how much someone fails, there is still value in that person.  Maybe not in the current process or job and maybe you have to part ways with someone, but always treat the person with value and dignity (and yourself) if you fail.
  • Continue pushing yourself to expand your comfort zone, despite your fears. Expanding your comfort zone increases your confidence.  If you’re not failing occasionally, you’re not trying hard enough.  Write down 5 things you would like to improve and work toward those goals as hard as it may be.

I hope these suggestions help you until we can get together again.

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The Power in the Dash

Faith

It is easy to go through life and forget how our life intersects with the lives of those around us.  The things we do and the things we say all impact others in some way or another.  In Christian terminology, this is known more commonly as “our testimony.”  Our testimony is how we “advertise” ourselves to the rest of the world.  Our testimony should tell the truth about who we are and what we believe.  Our testimony should be consistent.  How we are on Sunday should be the same as on Monday and Tuesday.  Unfortunately, in today’s seemingly self-centered world, there are many that are concerned only with themselves.  Some lose sight of the fact that what they do and what they say truly does have an impact on others.  How we each lead our lives has a direct impact on those around us.

Everyone has a beginning and an end.  When we look at someone’s tombstone, we see inscribed on that tombstone a person’s date of birth and their date of death.  Usually, there is a “dash” or “hyphen” separating the two dates.  This simple “dash” represents the number of years of that person’s life and all of that person’s life events between birth and death. There are the memories, the tragedies, the triumphs, the career, the education, the family, the hobbies and all the things that made that person who they were.  The impact of that person’s life on the lives of those that knew him/her is represented in a single dash.

Have you ever thought about what your “dash” will represent to others when you’re no longer on this earth?  When someone reads your birth date and date of death and views that small, seemingly insignificant, dash separating the dates—what will they think of?  Did your dash have an impact on others?  Did your dash make those around you better?  Did your dash make a difference in everything you do?  When others think back on your dash, will it be positive or negative?

It’s never too late to change your “dash” for the better.

Courage Thoughts for Today:

  1. What habits can you change to be more consistent in your daily testimony?
  2. What are ways you can begin to look outward to others, rather than inward to self?

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Guilty as Charged

Grace

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14)

I have had the pleasure, or displeasure depending on your perspective, of being selected for Jury Duty on three different occasions.  The first time I was selected, I was actually pretty excited.  I just knew I was going to see some exciting courtroom drama. The lawyers were going to argue back and forth. Someone was going to get thrown out of the courtroom.  Then, at the very end of the trial, one of the lawyers was going to surprise the courtroom with some newly found evidence that swayed the outcome of the case.  Then, I would join all the other Jurors for deliberations that went on for days while the one lone Juror held out hoping to sway all of the rest of us to change our decisions.  Just like on TV.

I was sadly disappointed when I never even got selected to be a Juror.  Just endless waiting to be chosen, only to be sent home for another day.

As Christians, we’re charged with the responsibility to be the Light of the World.  I suppose this could mean many things but, to me, it means that we should all lead our lives in a manner that would set an example for others.  As we lead our lives with integrity and honor and Christian love, our testimony and example are what make those that aren’t Christian want to be like us.  We’re supposed to be different, not in an arrogant or “we’re better than everyone else” mode, but different in a humble and positive way so that others will be drawn to the Christian faith by our examples. Sadly, I’ve not always been successful in doing this.  I haven’t always set the example I needed to set although that is always my goal.

Imagine yourself on trial before an imaginary Jury of your peers.  You are charged by the courts with being a Christian.  The question before the Jury is this:  Is there enough evidence presented to convict you of being a Christian?  Will this imaginary Jury come back undecided or unable to determine that there is enough evidence to convict you, or will they find you guilty as charged?

Courage Thoughts for Today:

  1. What evidence is there against you that would prove you’re a Christian?
  2. Are you spending time (as a good lawyer) trying to change the minds of others that you really are a Christian?
  3. Do you need to throw yourself upon the mercy of the “court” and ask God for forgiveness?

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Tips on Living a Stress Free Life

Strength

We live in a world full of stress and we can’t avoid it.  We may face stress from financial pressures; health concerns; career choices; family concerns; church and religion; or even our own self-confidence and the list goes on and on.  I don’t have to tell you that no one is immune from stress; it is in every facet of our lives.  Since we can’t avoid stress, the question becomes how do we best cope with stress in our everyday lives?  I began thinking about stress and what it would be like to have zero stress.  What would a stress-free life look like?  Several words and terms came to mind, but the one word that kept coming back to me again and again was the word—peace.  Living a stress free life is living a life of peace.  I have thought about peace in my own life and wanted to share lessons that I have learned over the years, using the letters in the word p-e-a-c-e.  These lessons from the school of hard knocks have helped me to live a life of peace.

  • Pray to the Lord often. Prayer is an often used answer for many things, for good reason.  I spend a lot of time in prayer, not formal “holier than thou” prayers but just simple, private conversations with God about whatever may be on my heart.  There’s something about prayer and the relationship with God that follows which keeps you humble and reminds you of who is really in control.  Regular prayer is the gateway to peace.
  • Embrace who you are.  I used to spend a lot of time wishing I was more than what I am.  I viewed others and what they had and became envious.  I saw others who had better skills or experience or who had better social skills or were better students.  I saw others who were better athletes or more outgoing.  My point is I spent so much time being envious of others that I failed to realize my own gifts and strengths.  Each of us is wonderfully made by our Heavenly Father and you have unique gifts and talents you may not even know about. Certainly take steps to improve yourself in whatever areas that may need improving, but not so you can be like someone else.  Make positive changes for yourself.  Embrace your God-given talents and stop comparing yourself to others.
  • Accept what you cannot change.  There have been so many things in life that I wanted to change.  What would I have given for a ‘do-over” in certain circumstances?  I think we have all felt that way in one time or another.  The trouble begins when we constantly beat ourselves up over decisions we’ve made or things we have done that we can no longer change.  What has happened, has happened.  Accept the fact that the past is behind you, stop feeling sorry for yourself, make the necessary changes in your life and move on.  Don’t let the past drag down your future.
  • Care for others.  It’s so easy to spend all of our waking moments thinking of nothing but ourselves.  I know; I’ve done it.  I would get so preoccupied with my own problems and my own issues that I failed to notice others that were hurting around me.  When I began to change my focus from thinking about me all the time to showing concern for others, my world changed.  Concern may be something as simple as a kind word or a letter of encouragement or it may involve just ‘being there’ for someone at a time of need.  I began to realize that my situations were not so bad after all and that I really should be thankful for what I did have instead of worrying about what I didn’t have.
  • Extinguish the hate from the past.  One of the hardest things we do in life is when we try to forgive someone for how they may have hurt us.  Forgiving someone is something that never comes easy.  I used to think that when I forgave someone it meant that I accepted what they did to me.  I learned that forgiving does not mean acceptance.  Forgiving means that I refuse to allow what this person did to control my life any longer.  Lack of forgiveness is like a raging fire in your life that burns out of control.  Letting go of the hate extinguishes the fire that engulfs your life and enables you to move on.

There are many experts on the subject of stress and I don’t pretend to be one.  What I can promise you from my own personal experience is that if you follow the principles above, you will begin to learn how to manage the stress in your life and have the true peace you’ve been searching for.

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Don’t Try to Dig Up What Faith Has Planted

Faith

My wife loves to work wonders in her small garden on the terrace of our city condo.  When I say garden, it’s not vegetables and fruit, but small plants and trees and an occasional flower.  There’s something relaxing and rewarding about planting a seed or sapling in soil and nurturing it along the way.  At first, there appears to be nothing but soil and water and fertilizer and the seed itself.  Over time, after much patience, with the right combination of sunlight and TLC, the results of her efforts begin to pay off and growth begins to take shape.

I remember one particular small tree that had not been doing well at all in its current container.  She had tried everything and decided that relocating the plant would be the plant’s best hope for survival.  After much effort and much patience in waiting for the tree to regenerate and grow, the plant eventually died.  As it turned out, the trauma of moving the plant to new soil and a new container ending up being more harmful than if we had left the plant where it was.  It would have been better to be more patient and allow the plant to blossom in its original container.

How much is real life like that? Are you at one of those seasons in your life when things just don’t seem to be working out?  Maybe you’ve tried and tried to work things out and you’re ready to give it all up.  Maybe you’re ready to change directions entirely.  Occasionally, God does tell us to change directions and take a different course; however, sometimes, God wants us to stay planted and simply have more faith that our current plans will generate fruit.  Be careful that you don’t dig up what God has planted and that you allow ample time for God to develop His plans for your life.  Remember, that our timetable is not always the same as God’s timetable for our lives.

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We are Truly Unworthy to be Worthy

Self-Worth

I am always amazed how God has worked in my life.  By amazing, I don’t mean that everything in my life has always been good by the World’s standards.  If my life became a novel, there would be many Chapters that would be quite scary, alarming, tragic and even heart-breaking at times.  Of course, there would be plenty of exciting and positive Chapters throughout this hypothetical novel, but my point is that everything has not always been a bed of roses.

What has been consistent throughout my life has been my relationship with God.  I hesitate to use that sentence because it is often an over-used cliche, but in my case it is so true.  To understand what I mean, you’ll have to walk with me on a trip down memory lane.

I grew up in a wonderfully stable, middle class home.  I had hard-working, loving parents that loved me and my two brothers and did everything within their power to make our home the best it could be.  They succeeded, by the way, and were the model of strength and character.  I was very fortunate to have such great role models for all the years I lived at home.  Despite the wonderful upbringing, I was always searching for “something.”  Especially during my early teenage years, I began to feel lonely, isolated, and even depressed at times.  It seemed that I was on a treadmill searching for “something” that I could never find.  Then, one day as a teenager, I found what I was searching for in Christ.  Since that day, over 40 years ago, my life has never been the same–for the better.

Looking back at those days before I found Christ, I realized that I was searching to fill the void in my life because I didn’t fill worthy of anything good.  I looked at myself at that time and saw someone that was short; someone that was average looking; someone that was self-conscious; someone that was extremely shy; and someone that had only 2 or 3 friends. I wasn’t particularly good at anything and always felt ashamed of myself.  I was searching for “something” that would change all of that and, quite frankly, I became tired of searching.  Fortunately, I found that “something” in Christ before it was too late.  No, I didn’t miraculously grow taller, become better looking and outgoing,  have dozens of new friends, or develop great skills in everything I did.  But, I did finally understand that none of this mattered to God.  He didn’t care about my outward appearances or abilities, or my accomplishments or failures.  God cared about my heart.  Even though I had felt unworthy for so many years, I was always 100 percent worthy in God’s eyes—I just didn’t realize it.

I cross paths every day with people that feel as I did all those 40+ years ago.  They might feel unworthy for some of the same reasons or different reasons, but they feel unworthy nonetheless.  It is a terrible feeling.  I know; I’ve experienced it.  There is this seemingly never ending feeling that we have to change something or do something to make ourselves better to be acceptable to God.  We don’t.

When I finally accepted Christ, it taught me that there is nothing I can do to make God accept me anymore than He already does and, just as importantly, there is nothing I can do make God love me any less.  It doesn’t matter to God where you’ve been or where you are.

If you’ve been struggling with those feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness, it’s time to change.  It’s time to realize that you are Worthy just as you are. I promise it will be the best decision you’ll ever make.

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