Courage For Today

fun

Designer Clothing

Self-Worth

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalms 139:14)

I was traveling down memory lane the other day and thinking back on when my children were younger and the many memories I have of them growing up.  I could tell you story after story of the good times; the fun times; and the not so fun times.  But, one particular story comes to mind, involving my son when he was probably three or four years old.  At that time of my career, I was required to wear a suit and tie to work.  On one particular weekend, my son decided that it would be fun to wear one of my suits to play in.  He had managed to slip on my pants that were much, much too long.  He had wrapped one of my ties around his neck and was clomping along in my size 13 shoes, barely able to walk without tripping.  It was hilarious to watch.  He was so proud of himself that he had dressed up in Dad’s work clothes.  I “played work” with him for a little while and we both had a fun time pretending that he was dressing up and going to the office for a hard day’s work.

The funniest part of this dress-up day to me was that he was so determined to wear my clothing—–even though it was obviously several sizes too big for him.  In his three or four year old mind, he believed that simply wearing the clothes of someone else, even when they didn’t fit, transformed him into to that person for a brief moment.  Unfortunately, my clothes were much too heavy and too long for him and as well intentioned as he was, my clothing just ended up being a burden as he was trying to walk around the house.  He would have been much better off simply wearing his own clothes that fit him properly.

This long-ago memory reminded me of my own Christian Faith when, at times, I have tried to be someone I am not.  Over the years I have learned that God anointed each of us with our own set of “designer clothing.”  You are wonderfully made, in God’s image.  In fact, you already have “designer anointing,” custom made just for you.  Instead of trying to be like someone else or trying to fit into a mold meant for someone else, learn to be confident in who God made you to be.

In today’s pressure filled world it is so very easy to be jealous of what others have or the skills that someone else has.  I know; I’ve done it myself.  Take my advice and don’t try to wear what doesn’t fit you; it will only weigh you down.  Wear the custom fitted, designer clothing that God meant for you and allow Him to work in your life.  You’ll be surprised at the weight lifted off your shoulder.

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Don’t Believe the Lies in the Mirror

Self-Worth

As a young child, I loved attending the county fair.  It only came around to our area once per year so it was always exciting when it was that time of year again.  My family didn’t have a lot of extra money so it was a real treat when we were able to go.

Of course, I enjoyed the rides and attractions but I can still remember the first time I was old enough to enter the infamous “fun house.”  The fun house was full of mazes and air spurts that spooked you as you rounded corners.  What really caught my eye were the large Circus mirrors that waited for me down the hall.  There was one mirror that made me look six feet tall; another that made me look like a toddler.  There was yet another set of mirrors, one that made me look extremely overweight and another that made me look skinny.  As a small child, I just thought these distorted mirrors were a hoot.  I would stare and stare at the mirrors and imagine what it would be like if I really looked like the “me” in those mirrors, while all the time knowing the “real” me was not like those images at all.

I often encounter people in life who struggle with their own identity.  In reality, we all probably have at one time or another.  As we move through this journey we call life, we sometimes begin to take on the images of what we’ve been taught; what we’ve been told; what we’ve observed; and what we have believed.  Unless we have God’s firm foundation to base our reality on, it becomes very easy to distort our own self-image and—over time—-start to believe the lies that life throws our way.

There are many lies that life can throw our way, but let me share with you a few of what I think are among the most common.  Maybe some of these sound familiar to you:

  • If I feel it, it must be true.
  • The destination is more important than the journey.
  • I have to be perfect to feel good about myself.
  • I must have everyone’s love and approval.
  • My unhappiness is someone else’s fault.
  • My past predicts or restricts my future.
  • I am the way I am and cannot change.
  • Things never work out for me.
  • I can’t be happy unless things go my way.
  • Things happen and I take them personally.
  • People owe me for what I do for them.
  • You shouldn’t have to wait for what you want.
  • God’s love must be earned.
  • Life and God are always supposed to be fair.
  • I don’t need other people to function in life.
  • I have been hurt, so I can never trust anyone.
  • People “like that” will always disappoint me.
  • God doesn’t have time for my problems.
  • A good Christian doesn’t get angry, anxious, or depressed.
  • I either magnify or minimize the importance of things.

Any of those sound familiar?  If so, you should remind yourself that they’re not true.  The bigger question is how do I erase those lies that have held me hostage all these years?  How do I take steps to see the real me instead of the distorted me?  In my experience, I have found that the following steps can help you over time:

  1. For each of the lies you believe about yourself, think back on the triggering event that caused you to feel that way.  It may take some time and may be painful, but write down what event(s) in your life you believe caused you to believe the lie in your life.
  2. Write down what is wrong about the way you are thinking about these events.  What exactly has been your wrong thinking pattern over the years about this event?
  3. Next, write down how you felt emotionally about the event and what you have been thinking and believing.  Are you angry, hurt, sad, embarrassed, showing lack of faith?  This will be painful and cause you to re-live some of the hurt, but be honest with yourself and write out your true feelings.
  4. Then, write down your unhealthy actions resulting from how you felt.  Did the pain and hurt or the sadness or embarrassment cause you to do something you wish you had not done?  Write it down.

As you proceed through the next steps, you will begin to view a different perspective which will offer some healing over time:

  1. Write down the correct way you should have thought about the triggering event you identified above.  If you had been thinking the correct way about the event, what would that have looked like?
  2. If you had reacted correctly to the triggering event, what would have been the correct emotions that you would have felt? Instead of feeling angry, sad, or hurt, how would you have felt?
  3. Finally, write down the positive actions that would have resulted had you reacted correctly and had you felt the proper emotions.

As you work through the exercises above, remember the lies we all believe are just like the Circus Mirrors in the fun house–they aren’t real and they aren’t representative of the real you.  It’s our choice to replace the lies with the truth.

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Praying on the Mountaintops

Encouragement

I’m talking a literal mountaintop here.  Our family decided to visit beautiful Gatlinburg, Tennessee one fall weekend.  We liked to go there occasionally for the shopping and food and, of course, the beautiful mountain scenery.  It was always relaxing to get away from the hustle and bustle of Atlanta and enjoy everything that Gatlinburg and, its sister city, Pigeon Forge had to offer.

One of the popular attractions in Gatlinburg is what is called Ober Gatlinburg.  Basically, it is an amusement area at the top of a particular mountain which offers snow skiing; ice skating; etc.  It sounded like a fun place to visit especially for our children who were not nearly as excited at looking at mountains and the changing leaf colors as my wife and I were.

There were two ways to reach the top of the mountain.  You could drive your car to the top, or you could ride a cable car from the City of Gatlinburg at the bottom of the mountain to the top of the mountain.  Riding Cable Cars is not something that is on my “to-do” list so I voted for the first option.  We climbed into the family car and drove the winding mountain roads to the top of the mountain. It seemed like forever, but in reality it wasn’t really that far.  By then, the kids were excited and wanting to climb out the car windows.  They couldn’t wait to lace on a pair of skates or skis.  Unfortunately, when we arrived to the top of the mountain, there was no place to park our car.  The lots were full.  So, I had a brilliant idea.  I asked my wife to drop me and the kids off at the entrance to Ober Gatlinburg.  I would go ahead and be paying for what we were going to do, get the kids all ready, and in the meantime she could drive back down the mountain; park in town; and catch the cable car back to the top of the mountain.  She wasn’t scared of heights so I knew that wasn’t an issue with her.  Everyone agreed, so off I went with the kids and off my wife went down the mountain.  After 30 minutes or so, she arrived back to the top of the mountain and found us at the ice skating rink and all was good.

Then it hit me.

How was I going to get back down the mountain without riding the cable car?  All of a sudden, ice skating didn’t seem fun anymore.

We did have a good time at the top of the mountain and I was sad to see the time end.  Not because I was having that much fun, but because I knew I had to ride the cable car down the mountain.  Finally, the moment of truth came and it was time to leave.  We bought our cable car tickets and climbed on board.  I immediately went to the center of the cable car and held on to the large pole in the center of the car as if that was going to make me feel safer.  The ride to the bottom seemed like an eternity.  I think I aged 10 years on that ride, but we finally made it and it couldn’t have been quick enough.

I can remember literally praying all the way down the mountain.  Praying to the Lord that the cable wouldn’t snap and that we wouldn’t fall.  Trying to convince God that I was too young to die and I had a wife and two young children and that it wouldn’t be fair for me to have it all end this way, by crashing into a mountainside.  Don’t laugh, you’ve been there too.

As I think back on that incident, I realized a simple lesson that I still struggle with today.  I realized that I don’t usually have an issue praying to God during an emergency or crisis.  I think most of us are probably like that.  We like to think we’re in control of everything in our lives and only when we can’t fix things any better do we turn to God.  I am constantly reminding myself to do as the Bible says and pray without ceasing, not just in the bad times, but in the good times as well.

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