I don’t know about you, but sometimes when things don’t go your way, there is a tendency to look at the negative. In fact, I’ve met some folks that just automatically gravitate to the worse possible outcome in any scenario. Having a common cold suddenly means you have cancer. Being late on a bill now means bankruptcy is around the corner. Not having a good job interview plants in your mind that you’ll never find a job. If you find yourself in this frame of mind, I encourage you to begin working on changing your perspective. Below are some suggestions and tips I’ve learned over the years that have helped me. Start today giving them a try and see if your perspective doesn’t change over time:
- Remember, you will be the average of the 5 people and 5 books you spend the most time with. Always surround yourself with what or who you wish to mirror.
- Remember to always make sure you take care of yourself; your home-base. Don’t neglect yourself or “me time” to help you relax. Sometimes that may be simply reading for 30 minutes. It may be taking a long, hot bath. Whatever it is for you, make sure you leave yourself some downtime.
- A simple formula I use to help eliminate stress is what I call the 9-9-9 rule. Whenever I’m upset at something, I ask myself: “will this matter in 9-days; 9-weeks; or 9 months?” If the answer is no to all 3, it’s most likely not worth worrying about.
- Make sure you connect with others, but avoid comparing yourself with others. It’s very easy in our performance based environment to compare yourself with others and a certain amount of comparison is unavoidable. However, if we do this too much, our self-esteem goes down. Connecting and learning from others with like skills causes our self-esteem to go up. Connect and learn with the tools God gave you; don’t compare with others and sell yourself short. There is a huge difference between the two. See yourself with the wonderful package you are and learn to capitalize on those strengths and don’t worry about someone else.
- When you fail, as we all do, always maintain the following: (1) I can change it next time; (2) this is something to learn from; (3) it’s only temporary; and (4) only the process failed; not the person. No matter how much someone fails, there is still value in that person. Maybe not in the current process or job and maybe you have to part ways with someone, but always treat the person with value and dignity (and yourself) if you fail.
- Continue pushing yourself to expand your comfort zone, despite your fears. Expanding your comfort zone increases your confidence. If you’re not failing occasionally, you’re not trying hard enough. Write down 5 things you would like to improve and work toward those goals as hard as it may be.
I hope these suggestions help you until we can get together again.